Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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