As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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