i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize