I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did you just send me my own nude
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
