He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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