Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
