Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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