You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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