I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
