and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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