I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
