I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize