dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
