Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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