That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He felt like a one man threesome
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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