What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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