Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize