The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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