im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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