Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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