you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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