i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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