I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
