The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize