Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
