i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
