Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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