ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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