Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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