just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
