wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
