U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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