Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
