I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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