So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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