I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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