Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
