I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize