I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
