I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize