A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
