hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
