Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
