I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
