So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
