dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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