he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
