I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
