hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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