I'm really into asian looking animals
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i need some magic done to my vagina
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
