I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
