my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Alive.
So much puke
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
