just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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