No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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