I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
