I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize