Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
