Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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