He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
