We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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