Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
