If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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