Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
