Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
