6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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