No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
